back here

so I am here for the sixth semester.
time really flies away...


I left my room key at kerteh.
how stupid. and clumsy me strikes again.
the last time, I left my hp charger..
and I owe my room mate a lot.
have to make it up to her..

and for the consequences of me getting lazy not packing up stuff in the room+not returning the key,
TADA!
a pink letter from the office.
tuntutan dikenakan: RM81.00

and one more thing.
why the hell they didnt upload the academic schedule for us?
why did they posted it at the academic office when the semester starts tomorrow?
who'll be going to the office when most of us just reached here today? *sigh*

on the side note: I LOVE Rihanna's Loud album. currently looping it.

and btw, currently Malaysia is playing against Indonesia for the first leg of final of AFF Suzuki Cup. the current score is 2-0.

the laser incident lands Malaysia on the 1st spot of twitter's trending list with #malaysiacheatlaser

whatever it is, hope Malaysia stay strong. GO GO Malaysia!

a little thoughts

feels like just yesterday people wishing me my 22nd birthday yet tonight is the Christmas eve.
time flies like nobody's business..
for people like me who leads nocturnal life, my night is my hot times.
to eat.
catching up with the Tv programmes.
online.
and if ideas struck in, I just spend my night away in front of the lappy and typing away.
writing has now becomes addiction for me.
it's not like my writing is that damn good but somehow it gives satisfaction to me.
and when my little stories made people grin, let them de stress, made them teared a little bit, I feel contented. like I've save a kitten from being hit by a car.
I never imagined myself as an online writer.. but my friends at live journal are so kind and so encouraging that somehow they made me feel like I'm a Stephen King.
talking about Stephen King, I think I've never touch a book for the longest time in my life.
I need to hit the book stores. somehow I've lost the sensation of getting lost in my own imagination by reading books.
so I've to buy some books soon. this time I want to buy at least a non-fictional books.maybe autobiography. I've been meaning to find the Emilie Autumn's autobiography The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls (she's amazing)but never found it anywhere.
and review the books too.
I need to put myself of a little use and my blog is the best place for it..

oh and by the way, the results came out today.
It's getting better but not the best from me.
so my resolution for this upcoming semester is to write short notes of what I've learn little by little because for me that's the most effective way. that I figured after trying my hands with many methods of studying. I cannot be a last minute student anymore. you can if you're studying for SPM or even matriculation level. but not when you've to study about photon beams, kerma, how MRI works etc.
trust me. I've tried it.

I need to get good results.I don't want my mother to feel ashamed of me on the graduation day later. I want her to be proud of me. that's the least I can do.
so, I hope I'm able to do this. InsyaAllah.

and that's the point of jotting down this today, as a reminder for me when I lost track in the future because I know I am not a focused person.

LJ

meme-ing my LJ account in my blogspot.
pathetic?
so be it.
mostly I dump fictional stories there.
together with drabbles..

etc.


words by words

if have time can go there.

Her favorite boy

I watched them from a far.
She puts her head on his shoulder. And she hugs him like he is her most favorite boy in the world.

I used to hug her like that. We used to be like that. The world used to be ours.

And now she appears in front of me, randomly. Like a magic. I am still captivated by her blinding lights.

You’re taking my head over again. Unfolding each memory.

What’s the matter now?
She said, ‘Nothing, I just want to see how you’ve been doing.’

An empty laugh escapes my cracked lips.

I would say,

I am wretched,
And she is one blissful girl.

I am bleeding inside, unconsciously,
And the bandage is lost with her.

I am lost in winters,
And she found the four seasons with him.

I am awake every night,
And she lost in her dreams beside him.


answers to his favorite girl

lost and heal

To lose someone so dear in your life is not an easy feat.

You can always dream that you'll be with them forever,

But forever is overrated.

You can always tell yourself to move on,

But moving on is never an easy act.

You can always pushed back the memories far behind,

But it will always lie there, waiting.

You can always pretend,

But at one time you lose your majestic mask,

You can always walk forward,

But life has its own intersection and loops.

You can always sleep away with the pains,

But in the morning you found your pillows wet with tears.

To heal you is to grieve and accept the losing and live with it.

21

it is finally December 1st. my birthday.

and I'm crying at the sudden realization.

I now finally understands the significant behind the cake that my father bought for me last year. It's not like he never bought me any cake but after I turned 13 years old, it was always either my sisters or my mother were the one to bought the cake.

I remember the surprise look my mother gave me when he brought back the chocolate cake with big 21 written on it. I am very happy that day. really happy.

and tonight, I'm by myself and will never ever receive his birthday greetings anymore. his moga panjang umur and dimurahkan rezeki wishes. the simple words that always never missing in my inbox when December 1st comes by.

thank you abah for the last cake you bought for me, your daughter. at 21 I lost you. at 22 I'm celebrating the day I was born without you. I missed you so bad.