underneath everything.

wow. 
finally.
the closure to my four years of being an undergrad student.


this might be the last time i'm blogging by using usmsecure network. sniff sniff.


when i think back of the time i first stepped into usm, in the year 2008,  my late father and my mother were the one that send me off.
and today, in the year 2012, my second sister will be the one to pick me up.


how i wished my father would be able to attend my convocation. how i wish. 


well, underneath everything, i learned a lot.
 i learned that what ever things you thought is impossible after all could be made possible.
i learned that though you may have a lot of  friends, at the end of the day, the only thing that's left is you by yourself. a man gotta manned up. 
i learned not to being too judgmental on every one. save you doubt for any other days. learn to accept people the way it is.
i learned to be more carefree. i learned on how to improvise, to survive, not to undo the mistakes but learn from it and chin up.
i learned that above all, my family is my everything. stick together until whenever.


the things i cherished the most is the chances of getting to know amazing people. 
lecturers and friends.
i 'm not one to open up to people. if i'm comfortable enough then you would be able to 'see' me. i'm not one of goody-two-shoes.
so, being able to make a couple of friends from here is truly an amazing feat for me. 


however, sometime someway, i learned that somehow, my decision of taking up this degree is kind of a mistake. 
i realized that I've potential on other things, but sadly with little guidance, i just kind of stumbled here.  
yes, i do have regrets but everything's written and can't be undone. 
so i gotta live my life. 
remember, you have to be thankful! . 
imagine what would happen if i never got the place in usm in the first place. 
where would I be now?






aaaanndd a friend from tumblr  asked me yesterday, so what's next for you since you've completed your degree?


i think about it for  a little bit and my answer;


'I've applied to a couple of uni for postgraduate program.  and will keep up to date with any  job offerings. for the meantime, i'm going to enjoy my hoolidayyy!'


happy holiday. 
and let's go for life and loved ones. 


{get up & Let's Go! }

don't pretend.

{I heard him promise you forever}

{But forever's come and gone}

I love Backstreet Boys.
and it's safe to say that this is my most favorite song from them.
four of them, Brian, AJ, Nick and Howie D performed this song live from the O2 Arena, in 2009. This was during Kevin left the group. oh Kevin.


I have fond memories of BSB and their songs.


Show Me The Meaning of Being Lonely is my personal favorite from Millennium.


my classmates in primary school danced to As Long As You Love Me for their performance in the weekly assembly.


I remember watching MTV and screamed inside every time their songs came out.


I would never forget the time when my brother bought the album and VCD's of their MVs, albeit the pirated one, cause you know, at that time CDs, VCDs and cassettes were all the prime source for entertainment aside from the radio. 


I used to download their songs from the internet and played it on Winamp. 


such a happy, high time for me. 

and for me, Black & Blue remained as the best album from them so far,
with so many greatest hits came out from Black & Blue and this album mainly set their status as the best selling boy band ever, leveling the record set by The Beatles.


don't pretend that you never did love them even for just a little while. 
long live, Backstreet Boys.

to anyone.

people who are afraid to let go are the worse,
they make it worse on themselves on a great level.


let it go.


because nothing is going to change.
people who leave will never coming back,
things that you lost will be gone forever,


no matter how kind you have become,
how spiteful you choose to be,
it can not be undone.


move on.


{on your mark, get set & go}

it pains me.

You ought to give people the benefit of the doubt.


When something is odd about someone,
Just don't judge without really knowing the reason.
Put yourself in that person's shoes, 
And try to imagine what it is like to be in his/her position.


Don't be blinded, 
Don't be too self-centered,
As the world doesn't revolve around you, my friend.


And not only you,
But all of us live in our own little hell,
And pain makes people change, 
For better or for worse.

just my luck

Just my luck, thank you
and Alhamdulillah.


I don't know, 
in my dumbest moment and full of regret,
then came a savior or a knight in shining armor to save me.


Just my luckiest luck,
I shall not take anything for granted and stop asking for more.

thank you. 





p/s: on a side note, I'm going home tomorrow (technically, today). Alhamdulillah. 

get over it.

it's June already.


I am restless and bothered these days.
I honestly can't wait for all of this to be over.
surely I'll miss everyone, everything, 
but deep down, I'll be forever glad when things get to settle down.


really looking forward to the holiday with the family as I've plan to make it useful and meaningful, unlike my previous holidays where it mainly consists of sleeping, eating and fattening up myself.

/really in unstable mood. :(