it pains me.

You ought to give people the benefit of the doubt.


When something is odd about someone,
Just don't judge without really knowing the reason.
Put yourself in that person's shoes, 
And try to imagine what it is like to be in his/her position.


Don't be blinded, 
Don't be too self-centered,
As the world doesn't revolve around you, my friend.


And not only you,
But all of us live in our own little hell,
And pain makes people change, 
For better or for worse.

hari ni cuti. 
1may=hari pekerja.
and,
Man U kalah.  0-1 .
sekian.

tendency

- i admit that i have the tendency to scrutinize mistakes in people's writing in whatever medium. the mistakes including grammatical error, spelling mistakes etc. but i didn't go to extra length by telling them on the face about the mistakes if it is minor. and also, depending on what medium of it. if it's done on twitter or blog posts, Facebook updates or LiveJournal entry, then i'm perfectly fine. but if it's done for learning and teaching process, in newspaper, in movies or dramas (i'm looking at you Korean dramas), then it is not alright. because surely it could affect people who reads it. this makes me wonder why i didn't take up English major or TESL degree in university instead of doing this radiation thing.

- many said that i could be a great leader given the chance. i think so too. but if i met people that could lead me well, i tend to follow their lead. as with my friends, with A i tend to lead on everything, deciding on this and that, but with Z i tend to just laid back and follow her. hence, i want my future husband to be a great leader. one that could show me the way and have vision in life. one that could be my Imam for the rest of my life.

- i am a hot-tempered person. especially with my family. with my mum. i remembered i used to throw things when i'm mad or tired. this especially, exclusively heightened up when i'm 2-3 days away from my menses. the swings of the mood is so incredible that i tend to have many insane thoughts that is not healthy and many more. i would become really emotional even my sister always said that she hates me when i'm having menses. sometimes i have to remind my mum that the time is about to come, and she'll understand not to do anything that could make me go out of control. yes, it's selfish.

- i'm not a shopaholics but i love to shop the same thing. i have 2 or three shirts with the same designs but in a different color.it's  the same with shoes, specifically pumps and flats. oh how i love flats. and i couldn't content with just buying one. when my friends when to go shop her things, i always end up buying a lots of things than her. especially foods. foods and me is forever relevant.

so this post is totally about my tendencies. my most prevalent one. so what's yours?

hari ni first day final exam.
paper metodologi penyelidikan.

ok, aku duk depannnnn skali, mangkuk sungguh.

pastu,

bleh plak da masuk dewan dah duduk tetibe tengok, 'eh, mane slip exam? ah sudah!'

kena la plak pura2 hallway tu ala2 catwalk stage, jalan laju2 g amik. malang tul.

then selak paper.

soalan wajib.

homaigod!

4o marks.

research proposal.

nampaknye prof itu membalas dendam kepada kami2 angkara presentation yg tak menjadi.

ok.

pastu duk khusyuk kelip2 mata, renung stage, pegang dahi, conteng kertas soklan tu ade la 2 org pensyarah ni duk diskusi ape tah kat depan tu.

ey,ey,ey, saya nak jawab soalan ni, nak kena pikir, bleh senyap tak?

aku da siap bagi jelingan sekilas maut tapi tak reti juga.

dalam 20 minit pastu baru depa bersurai.

pastu ade pengawas tu plak duk bersidai kat depan aku.

ganggu pemfokusan aku tul, pantang kalo aku duk jawab paper, org duk tgk2,

kalo tgk ade hasil (bagi jawapan) takpe gak mcm ustaz arab last year, ni stakat duk kelip2 mata tgk jwpan aku. takpayah ok..

pastu da tgh kutip2 paper tu, aduhai, dak2 universiti ni tak reti kot. duk senyap la sekejap takleh ke. tau la da abes exm, hormati lah org len yg duk perah otak fikiran. mr bean pun tau senyap.

kesimpulannya, saya berserah kepada-Nya dan cube lagi ye ana untuk 5 paper lagi.

mac satu

hari bertukar hari.

sekejap je rase.

tak lame lagi nak exam besar lagi. ospe lagi. seminar lg.

bertimbun2 perkara pelajar.

sometimes rase cam nak lari masuk utan jap, duk dlm semalaman, tgk ade org kisah tak aku ilang kejap.

rasenye tak kot.

zaman skarang ni org cam tak ambil pusing keadaan sekeliling. aku pun termasuk la.

aku aku, ko ko. mentaliti tu payah nak dibuang.

macamane ye..

contohnya, ade classmate aku leh lupe nk dtg clinical ari ahd aritu sbabnye alasannye dia kata dia ingat aritu ari sabtu=CUTI.

ok.

aku pon terpikir, takkan la kat lappy dia takde tarikh kat tepi tu?

bukak fb takkan la tak tgk tarikh..

takkan tak bace newspaper online?

kat henset pon takkan tak prasan?

hmm.

takkan la dia tak kua bilik?

kan ke lain kalo suasana ari kuliah ngan hari cuti.

so, kesimpulannya, Wallahuallam.

tapi yang aku cube nak tulis ialah, hidup terasing ni tak bawak byk kebaikan ye.

bwk2 la tanye org sekeliling ni.

nak jadi pemimpin tak semestinye satu skop je.

classmate ko, group member ko, bwk2 la tanye khabar ke.. tanye arini camne klinikal.. cme camne..ape ygleh aku wat?

ni ape habuk pon tak amek kisah..

ko sibuk duk post kat fb pasal aktiviti tu aktiviti ni..

aktiviti presentation class camne?

ca pon tak dtg..

camne tu?

terasing tak sama ngan low profile ok.

aku suke lo profile tapi tak la sampai asingkan diri.

ape2 yg aku boleh n nak join je.

n tanggungjwb sbg student tu at least aku cube la wat..

aku tulis kat sini bukannye ape, agak dah fed up la.

aku try wat baek, tanye khabar, bgtau ape2 patot, bg pnjam logbook..

ingatkan ko nk berubah sket, tapi stakat 28 feb ni. takde pon.

tatau la kot tunggu bulan mac ni ke.

we'll see.

ape yg penting, harap2 pasni, dia ingat la ari ahad takkan boleh jadi hari sabtu.

kecewa

kenapa mereka selalu merasakan perlunya membandingkan setiap orang?

'kumpulan tu bagus tak, kak? mana lagi bagus? kami ke dorang?'

'oh,kamu nak dengar yang baik ke yang buruk? haha, kumpulan kamu la lagi bagus'

I really reject that kind of comparison that says, Oh, he is the best. This is the second best. There is no such thing.
-Mikhail Baryshnikov-

I'm miserable

seriously, these days I'm feeling worst.

and to add to that, I've practical this coming two weeks and I'm all stuck at here.

all alone in this room.

it's raining heavily,continously from this morning until now.

I'm feeling restless

now and then the thought keep invading my minds.

the pain I felt on that day keep coming back..

I don't know what to do..

just wished that everything gonna end soon enough.

restoran A.T.I.R.R.A

haha~ rase cam aku wat ad free plak ntok restoran ni..

aku pegi makan ngan kak+abg ipar+adik ipar kak aku.

cam WTF je aku rase g restoran ni.

aku da rase semacam je bile nampak sume sume sume kat restoran tu makhluk lelaki..

skali da duduk perati sekeliling rupe2nye pot dak2 indie wannabe lepak..

tetibe je rase aku +kak aku ni HOT bcos dorang sume pandang semacam..haha

kalo aku jadik dorang pon aku gtu gak kot..apedehal tetibe satu family bahagia ni masok pot kitorang..ok tu takpe lagi.

time nak order..dah laa takde menu..ingat kami ni tau ke ape yg ade..ok..then abg ipar tanye ape yg ade..mamat waiter berkata "sumo ado sini'.

aku pon tak sengaje wat lawak order kuey tiow goreng mamak..aku ingat aku kat juara kot time tu.

takpe laa, aku suh dya buang title mamak tu..

skali duk tunggu2, dtg mamat lain bitaw megi takde.(kak aku oder megi goreng)

tunggu lagi....dtg lg mamat tu ..kuey tiow abes laaa...

aku pon ngan drastiknye berkate takpe laa..kensel laa..manakala adik ipar kak aku tuka kpd nasi goreng pataya..(hmm..mlm tu kami pnye selera same, kami order neslo ais+kuey tiau goreng).

ok.takpe laa,aku minom je laa.. jage perut yg da nk buncit nie..

skali sampai plak 2 pinggan nasi goreng pataya..

ekhh???? WTH??

kot ye pon sy tak ckp klate, takkan tak paham kot yg aku tak order makan ape2..

DAN dgn itu, aku MARK Restoran Atirra, Jln Pekeliling Kota Bharu.