it's been a long time since I posted anything in here.

heh, it's expected since I so have trouble in committing to something.

yeah, commitment.

that's why until now I tak kahwin kahwin. heh, unrelated.

it's just that my life is so not stable right now, been very busy, what's with my final year project, my broken lappy and my health that is not in a good condition. lately, when I went anywhere, my classmates and some random mak cik told me that I looked pale.

huh? maybe I've to start putting on some make up.

case in point: today at lab

zorep: hai ana!

aku: hai!

zorep: cari apa ana? eh, ko nampak pucat la! tak pakai lipstick kot. hehehehe

aku: hehehehehe. (sejak bila aku pakai lipstick? eh! pucat ke muka aku?)

so yeah.

but it maybe because I haven't had my lunch at that time.

and I've been thinking a lot lately.

about the decision whether to do M Sc. after I completed my degree.

about what I could do after this.

and about my family.

yes, my family.and no no , it's not about my home sick-ness or anything.

of course, I do missed my family. a lot.

but it's just something is happening in my family. something that is not good. and it hurts.

it's hurting my mother,and although she keeps her composure all the time but in her eyes. it shows.

and all of this is happening after my father passed away.

sometimes I do wonder why he leave us so early. just like that. it's so sudden I couldn't even

I do dream of what could have been if he is still here.

I do think of what he would say, what he would respond to me.

I longed for his jokes and his advice.

I missed him so much.

but this is fate. I always believe in Allah's way for His servant. whatever He does all have meanings behind it. and as a daughter I could only send doa's for him. and do sadaqah on his behalf. InsyaAllah.

and for you that still have your parents.

love them. treasure them. be good to them.

for when they're gone, no one could ever replace them.

their love for you is irreplaceable.

I've become emotional. again.

and I'm sure tomorrow I would wake up with puffy eyes. again.