i think

Lately, I've been sleeping really late. past 3am. my biological clock totally messed up this time around.

and myself too.

I've been thinking a lot about what has happened to me this past couple of weeks.

I keep on lying and the lies just piles up, just like that.

Also, I think I couldn't hold up in this anymore, I feel like I lose interest in everything, majorly in studying. I remember that this always happens to me when I'm in my most important phase in my life.

I fucked up during form five by playing around instead of studying..

I fucked up during my second year of matriculation,

and I have the same feelings now, exactly on my final year as undergrads..

I regret now being in this course, I don't see myself anymore,

being able to study in this course..

can I just stay still and forget everything.

but,

I don't want the same regrets that I felt after all of that turns.

I don't have the courage to say this to anyone.

so messed up,

I don't know who could I talk to, don't have anyone to turns to..