cahaya di hujung terowong karak.

so I think there's always

light at the end of the tunnel.

despite life's giving you lemons, you still can make lemonade out of it.

and whatever comes your way just chin up and brisk along with it.

and along the way, don't ever lose yourself,

keep your ground and stay humble,

and be grateful.

and remember even if someday you stumble upon shits,

just samak.

and continue walking, running and hopping. or even crawling.

InsyaAllah. :)

p/s: now, finally finally finally, I have my FYP's title and I think it's awesome. I get to make a phantom. per my friend, ' wow, you got to put your name on it' . ヽ(゜∇゜)ノ

but then only if the project succeed.

cicak hunter

ok, so here's the story:

baru tadi aku bangun ingat nak sahur, sebab nak join la mereka2 yg puasa sunat pada hari ini, 9 muharram n esoknya 10 muharram. da lama lagipun tak berpuasa ni. kesian kat GIT aku, penat lelah..

pastu aku nak la buat air, 3 in 1 la, nescafe je... air bujang je..

aku pon menuju la ke arah meja aku yg terletaknya gelas nestle bliss purple aku..

aku dgn excited nya nak tuang isi2 dalam sachet nescafe itu, skali aku jenguk dlm gelas tu. ko tau ada apaaaaa??

misti da bole agak punye la.. refer title post ni pon da tau..

2 mata berkelip2 (ok, tipu la, sbb cicak takde kelopak mata kot) duk bersenang lenang dalam gelas akuu.

ok, aku pun bersabar je.. sbab malas nak gaduh ngan cicak kan. aku pun amek la mug milo aku..

settle la buat air..makan biskut sume..

neuron2 aku pun da cergas, sel2 badan sume da dpt glukos, ATP pon membuak2..

aku pun buat keputusan,

amik penutup gelas nestle bliss purple kesayangan aku tu,

aku tutup gelas tu..

aku duk senyap.. tunggu ada reaction ke tak.

tak de.

aku bukak tingkap,

then aku slow2 angkat gelas dari meja,

aku pun angle tangan ala2 nak baling buah petanque

pok!

tak nampak ape2 pun kat lua.

takkan cicak tu ghaib?

oo ok, malam lagi. gelap.

aku rasa perbuatan aku sangat heroic full of scarifices..

ye la, gelas favorite aku tuu..

then aku tgh2 salin log book, tiba2 bunyi cicak

agak kuat.

macam bagi warning.

takkan pasni aku nak buang meja pulak?

moral of the story:

-da lepas basuh pinggan mangkuk sudu gelas mug cawan tu simpan la dalam lemari ana oii.

-check dulu sebelum nak tuang apa2 dlm apa2.

-bli lastik

hello december

so, 4 days has passed since my birthday..

nothing much happened. no celebration.

just myself spending some time alone.

but I do get a few meaningful messages from friends and families.

that's more than enough, I think.

at least in this era of facebook is the news center, some still consider giving calls and texting as one way of communication, as a way to convey greetings, wishes, etc.

thank you because you don't forget.

in another note, ha! the dean asked to see me. i think because i screwed up my ca. oh, well.

maybe later today I'll see him and let's see what he have to say.

que sera sera.

i can't wait to get out from this hole.

Playlist291111

1.Neon Bunny- A Polar Bear

2.Neon Bunny- LaLaLa

3.Neon Bunny-Falling

4.Neon Bunny- Come a Little Bit Closer

5.Zitten- By My Side

6.Adele- Set Fire to the Rain

7.Gym Class Heroes ft Neon Hitch- Ass Back Home

8.Christina Perri- A Thousand Years

9. Jung Il-woo- Someone Like you

10.Broccoli, you too?- A Universal Song

11.Yuna- Decorate

12. Rihanna- We Found Love

current feelings... (3)

right now, I'm doing my assignment for the clinical.

I think my mind is not as messed up as in the previous post.

I mean, I'm still a lil bit unstable but I'll try my best to hinder whatever satanic,demonic, evilest intention or thoughts.

I figured it is new year after all, why not turning over a new leaf and strive forward and for the best.

I'm not that young hormonal teenagers anymore , heck I'll turn to big 2-3 years old in coming days so let's just grow up and straighten up your mind and heart, pretty please.?

I don't know why but maybe this is coming from the sudden realization after watching matluthfi's latest videos entitled 'rokok dan kopiah'. (He's my ultimate favouritest Malaysian vlogger).

a few of beautiful things to ponder from his video:

- rational vs belief.

-you're never alone if you start to depends to 'yang tidak mati' (ALLAH S.W.T).

-even the most optimistic person on earth will finally seek for some dependency like turns to his religions, beliefs, etc. when his life has turned upside down.

-strict religion is not the better religion.

-you wonder why Allah sometimes doesn't give what you wanted most after you've continually, constantly praying, performing solat etc. but the question is. does your Ibadah's sincere enough? Ultimately, sincerity is the key point.

I think I've yada yada too much.

bye.

Lately, I've been sleeping really late. past 3am. my biological clock totally messed up this time around.

and myself too.

I've been thinking a lot about what has happened to me this past couple of weeks.

I keep on lying and the lies just piles up, just like that.

Also, I think I couldn't hold up in this anymore, I feel like I lose interest in everything, majorly in studying. I remember that this always happens to me when I'm in my most important phase in my life.

I fucked up during form five by playing around instead of studying..

I fucked up during my second year of matriculation,

and I have the same feelings now, exactly on my final year as undergrads..

I regret now being in this course, I don't see myself anymore,

being able to study in this course..

can I just stay still and forget everything.

but,

I don't want the same regrets that I felt after all of that turns.

I don't have the courage to say this to anyone.

so messed up,

I don't know who could I talk to, don't have anyone to turns to..

Fever's End part 2

Tablo's part two of Fever's End just released on November 1st. so easily my favourite track is track no 8.

Dear TV / 해열

Dear TV,

Desensitize me.
Gimme more genocide please.
The world is your aphrodisiac,
so you stay turned on every minute,
every second I breathe.
You weaponize greed,
kill me with incessant I-needs.
Got me checkin’ out those,
and checkin’ out these.
Mainstream me, disinfectin’ my breed.
I’m lookin’ for nirvana but you Geffenize me.
Point me to the skies till heaven’s eye bleeds.
Anoint me with your lies then divinize me.
If heaven is a show, well, televise me.
But I won’t lie my way in, no fakin’ IDs.
I’ll die standin’. Try breakin my knees.
I’ll do a handstand like I’m breakin’.
Now freeze. Don’t act like you know me ’cause you recognize me.
You sell my record, not me.

only Tablo can make 35 seconds of rap seemingly poignant and genius.

another favourite track should be Thankful Breath. it's a moving song, full of hopes and love. i love how Tablo mention Epik High and also his wife and daughter in this song.

then Expiration Date- it's a quiet song with melancholic feel, accompanied by Tablo's breathy singing voice.

Tomorrow and Source tied at fourth place- Tomorrow is a bit mainstream with Taeyang's voice adds on to easy listening and Source reminds me of old school Epik High, with the featuring of scratch by the one and only DJ Tukutz!

Overall, as expected Tablo never fail to amaze me with his genius and deep lyrics. now all I could ask is for Epik High to be together again once Mithra Jin comes back from the army.

Thank you, Tablo

for staying strong and continue making beautiful music for us.

welcome back, Tablo

he's one of my most beloved singer-rapper-songwriter-composer.

his talent is overwhelmingly indescribable.

and here is my most favourite song from his latest album, Fever's End part 1.

the video:

It's Bad

the lyrics:

They say something has changed.
They say I’ve changed.
They tell me somewhere I turned cold, that I used to be so affectionate.

They say something has changed.
They say I’ve changed.
They tell me somewhere I turned cold, that I used to be so affectionate.
They claim they don’t understand.
They tell me I used to be cheerful but now my eyes and tone of my voice lost its light and admits fear.

Unsure whether it’s because of the painful memory but I go on by emptying my heart.
Lucid hearts are defective products of this world. That’s why I badly want to taint mine.
They tell me that if you love, you start to take after each other; maybe I want to take after you a bit.

Atrocious. Love is atrocious.
You were the very reason I breathe for, but now you’re suffocating me.
Love is so bad, bad, bad, bad, bad.
Love only gets worse as you dig deeper.
Love is so bad, bad, bad, bad, bad.
Love only pains as you learn about it.
More you know, worse you become.

The words I wouldn’t normally get riled up about: “You don’t seem yourself”.
I question, “What is me?” but of course I know only too well.
I can’t bear to look at myself.
Whether I’ve been embraced or have closed my eyes, I just can’t sleep at ease.
I yearn for alcohol, something I usually have hard drinking.
Drunk on anxiety, as the dawn drizzle pours down I stagger through the street
I start to quarrel and my mouth that once used to whisper so many kind words has been tainted by a profanity.
Can’t rest till this small thing becomes a catastrophe.
I end up telling lies like a second nature and you keep harassing me in the name of ‘Love’

Atrocious. Human are atrocious.
You were the very reason I opened my eyes for, but now you’re concealing them.
Love is so bad, bad, bad, bad, bad.
Love only gets worse as you dig deeper.
Love is so bad, bad, bad, bad, bad.
Love only pains as you learn about it.

Only thing that’s worse than you is,
I, who couldn’t forget you and ended up being tainted.
I, who continues to act cold towards the other people.
Only thing that’s worse than you is,
I, who couldn’t forget you and ended up being tainted.
I, who is cold towards the other people.

Atrocious, it’s atrocious.
It hurts.
It hurts so much.
What we call love.
Love is a sickness.
Can I get a witness?
Atrocious, it’s atrocious.
It hurts.
It hurts so much.
What we call love.
Love is a sickness.
Can I get a witness?
Love is a sickness.
Love.

Love is so bad, bad, bad, bad, bad.
Love only gets worse as you dig deeper.
Love is so bad, bad, bad, bad, bad.
Love only pains as you learn about it.

cr: musictology

it's so beautiful.

a masterpiece.

i'm so buying this album.

remember september

oh hai.

rase macam da la lame sangat tak update kat blog ni.

rasa macam busy gile macam Najib busy nak bentang bajet. ooh, bajet da bentang ea.

dapat gelanggang futsal, pendidikan free, penjawat awam digalakkan sambung belajar, yada yada yada.

oklah, clap clap clap la untuk kerajaan rakyat didahulukan.

oh,

actually, ni bukan tujuan utama nak update ni.

nak story apa yang terjadi sepanjang bulan september yang lalu sahaja.

*queue lagu wake me up when september ends*

of course, start new semester, maknanye aku da jadi super senior ye. rase otai nak mampos.

jalan pegi klas rasa cam tak jejak tanah, nampak junior lalu buat muka serius sambil tengok name tag mereka.ahahaha.

feeling yg awesome.

ok, clinical kat hospital mcm biasa, class petang2 ade..

aha! nak cerita.

24 sept aritu aku telah menghadiri Korean Music Wave Concert kat Stadium Merdeka.

ok, aku follow kpop. fullstop.

bile aku free, i'll make separate entry for story telling of my experiences there.

then, i have jamuan raya for my course and main point here is,

i think the last year's organizer was much much better organizer than this year's.

no tables and we've to hold the plates. pshhhtt! susah tau nak makan.

and the food is okay la but the nasi impit is way too soggy for my taste. (tp amik 2 pinggan jugakkk)

the next day, ada picnic with the girls at Jeram Mengaji. supposedly, we wanted to go to Jeram Linang but the day before ada klua paper news pasal ada student mati lemas kat situ.

so, tukar tempat perkelahan la kami.

nevertheless, very verily FUN-lah!

em, dengan aktiviti2 di atas dan aktiviti2 lain yg tak layak masuk dlm update ni, I have an ENJOYABLE September.

so, what's up with my October?

well, Langkawi is on the lists. :)

i am back.

quickie on my mind:

-arrived at usmkk around 3.30pm.

-took the room keys at the office.

-collect all my stuffs from the store room.

3 boxes went MIA. there gone my bedsheets,t-shirts and iron.

-room mate is OKAY. my coursemate.

-got text from a friend , she's got ticket for both of us to go the Korean Music Wave concert on Sept. 24th. one of my wishlist is becoming true. :)

-anticipating Year 5 of GG. ChAir FTW!

-planning to enjoy my final year as undrgraduate student, take a lot of photos, going places, make friends, be more adventurous. :)

rase nak balik kampung, nk p tgk arwah abah.I mean his graveyard.

lately, I've been missing him badly..

the other day while walking at laluan farmasi, there's one Pak Cik wearing kopiah and I swore that I've been staring at him. sorry pak cik!

but yes, I do missed him. badly.

and when I saw old couples walk together, it hits me..

you tend to make your life busier, pretend that everything is going down smoothly,

you find distractions with daily life.

but always in your own, loneliest times,

at night, before you close your eyes,

when you saw the pictures, on your table,

when you want to send text messages to people and saw Abah in your contact lists,

when you see families eating together at restaurants,

a father kissing his daughter/sons,

when you looking through all the best wishes and good lucks in your inbox and there's none that reads from Abah..

it hits me that,

not forgetting him is easy,

but there's always subtle aches to my heart,

and secret tears still flows without reasons,

what it meant to lose you. no one will ever know..

Al-Fatihah.

hari ni first day final exam.
paper metodologi penyelidikan.

ok, aku duk depannnnn skali, mangkuk sungguh.

pastu,

bleh plak da masuk dewan dah duduk tetibe tengok, 'eh, mane slip exam? ah sudah!'

kena la plak pura2 hallway tu ala2 catwalk stage, jalan laju2 g amik. malang tul.

then selak paper.

soalan wajib.

homaigod!

4o marks.

research proposal.

nampaknye prof itu membalas dendam kepada kami2 angkara presentation yg tak menjadi.

ok.

pastu duk khusyuk kelip2 mata, renung stage, pegang dahi, conteng kertas soklan tu ade la 2 org pensyarah ni duk diskusi ape tah kat depan tu.

ey,ey,ey, saya nak jawab soalan ni, nak kena pikir, bleh senyap tak?

aku da siap bagi jelingan sekilas maut tapi tak reti juga.

dalam 20 minit pastu baru depa bersurai.

pastu ade pengawas tu plak duk bersidai kat depan aku.

ganggu pemfokusan aku tul, pantang kalo aku duk jawab paper, org duk tgk2,

kalo tgk ade hasil (bagi jawapan) takpe gak mcm ustaz arab last year, ni stakat duk kelip2 mata tgk jwpan aku. takpayah ok..

pastu da tgh kutip2 paper tu, aduhai, dak2 universiti ni tak reti kot. duk senyap la sekejap takleh ke. tau la da abes exm, hormati lah org len yg duk perah otak fikiran. mr bean pun tau senyap.

kesimpulannya, saya berserah kepada-Nya dan cube lagi ye ana untuk 5 paper lagi.

A to the E

flawless

lists to do before I die

okay, bored gile..

1. be an emcee for whatever event (done! and I receive another offer! this time it's for bigger event. :) )

2. go to glastonbury's festival

3. watch MUSE live in action

4. watch Big Bang live in concert (partially done! GD & TOP and Seungri, only short of Daesung and Taeyang)

5. go to South Korea

6. visit Mecca, one for umrah and for Haj

7. bungee jumping

8. ride a rollercoaster 

9. ride an aeroplane alone

10. cook meals for entire family

11. buy house

12. singing in front of other people with microphone ( I sang Yuna's song!)

13. watch Manchester United at Old Trafford

14. meet Mitch Albom

15. travel anywhere with only my mother to accompany me 

16. shopping alone

17. watch Adele in concert

18.get married

19.have kids

20.have grandkids

21. climb Mt. Kinabalu

22. holiday at Karambunai, Sabah

23. para sailing

4/23 , March23rd,2012.

will edit later.

write in the sand

a story tells that 2 friends were walking through the desert. during some point in the jourey, they got into an argument and one friend got slapped in the face by the other. the one who got slapped was hurt but not saying anything, wrote in the sand, 'today my best friend slapped me'. they kept on walking until they found an oasis and they decided to take a bath. the one who got slapped before was drowning and the friend saved him. after he recovered, he carved in the stone, 'today, my best friend saved my life'.

when someone hurts us, we should write it in the sand where winds of forgiveness can take it away, but when someone does something good for us, engrave it in stone where no winds could carry it away.

cr: IslamicThinking@twitter

Sonnet seventeen

I don't love you as if you were the salt-rose, topaz

or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:

I love you as certain dark things are loved,

secretly, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that doesn't bloom and carries

hidden within itself the light of those flowers,

and thanks to your love, darkly in my body

lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,

I love you simply, without problems or pride:

I love you in this way because I don't know any other way of loving

but this, in which there is no I or you,

so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand,

so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close.

.Pablo Neruda.

april's book- have a little faith

a little girl came home from school with a drawing she'd made in class. she danced into the kitchen, where her mother was preparing dinner. mom, guess what?she squealed,waving the drawing. her mother never looked up. what? the mother said tending to the plates. guess what? the child repeated, waving the drawing. what? she tends to the pots. mom, you're not listening. sweetie, yes I am. mom, the child said, you're not listening with your eyes

-page 59, have a little faith, Mitch Albom-

K.A.W.A.N

me=shorty forever

raya 2010

priceless, classics 1

priceless, classics 2

woot woot! 5A-ers

kawan enjoy kat times square theme park. luv u. kalo tak tak merase naik dna mixer yg gile tu.

in my hybrid car

3rd dinner

pretty girls 1

pretty girls 2

co-emcee + protocol's exco

speckies

triplets?

umi's sis wedding

since 2006 till now

roomies 2010

jogging mates

coursemates

huru hara buddies

kak pah yg chantekk

aelb's director, lecturer, coursemates

looking silly

just becos i like my white pumps

ambassadors for sembonia 2011

nom nom nom

morning after w/out shower.

1st dinner

sweeties!

penang trip yg hellish

futsallies

at la hot spring

3rd dinner, i like the edits

i treasure every one of you in my heart..

<3 <3 <3

merapu merapa

hola!

EUGHH.. takde mood nak study tapi kene.

eheheh. tengah2 tenung lappy nak taip ape tah.

rumet i balik. then dia kasik 2 potongan pizza. AHAHA. thanx. I LIKE! :))

nampaknye kena study ngan semangat nye.

bye.

-may the pen never dry-

Tablo.

current wallpaper 1

oh! TABI.

ok. smoking is BAD. but, this this this is freakishly fascinating. like, i don't even...

cr: tumblr and DC Top.

interview with ma 1

baru pas call ma.

m: ade duit lagi tak?

y: ade lagi. 50++

m: eh? apsal ade lagi? tak makan ke?

y: :-''( makan je la.. TAPI kena diet la kot..ma, hari ni je dah 3 org kata yana gemuk/berisi/makin 'comel'

m: hahaaha .. ala biar la dorang.. yg kate tu kurus ke gemuk?

y: misti la kurus. sume cekeding..

m: patot la... dorang jeles tu.. takpe, kan ma kata selagi bleh mkn selagi tu la makan, kang kalo terlantar kat spital ke, lidah pecah ke time tu tgk nasik kucing makan pun terliur.

y: hahaha. tak kot. hahahaha. okay2..

m: takda duit cakap..jgn tinggal 5 ringgit baru nak call.

y: ok2.. sankyu ma. :)

hmm.. aku pun rase aku makin gemuk. sbab takde ko-k kot. n aku byk tido. n mkn pun cukop.

*sigh*

saje je nak berlagak.

saya bakal balik rumah hari ni. ahahahaha

harap2 bus tak la lembab sangat .

dan harap2 saya selamat sampai ke pangkuan keluarga tercinta.

saya akan enjoy weekend ni tanpa notes maupun esaimen. oh heaven.

:)

tata.

fecal!!! on supermarket's trolley !!

ok. aku tgh bersenang lenang kat twitter, tibe2 ImranAjmain@twitter pon share satu linkie.

click

ringkasan:

professor Charles Gerbar (gebar? selimut?) kat University of Arizona medapati tiga suku (3/4) dari shopping carts atau troli kat Amerika sinun, ada mengandungi sisa najis besar (baca :tahi). OK. 72 % dari 85 troli yang diuji di empat buah negeri di US ada kesan sisa najis besar, dan separuhnyanya disertai oleh bakteria E.coli. bakteria paling famous kot.

menurut beliau, amaun itu adalah lebih banyak dari yang biasa terdapat di tandas awam. OK.

skarang fikir, tandas awam kat US ngan kat Malaysia. ERK!!

pasni nak guna bakul je. eh. ke bakul pun lagi banyak kot. takpun tolak troli jgn pegang kat handle tapi pegang kat tayar ataupun gune pengepit nak tolak troli ataupun pakai gloves.

teringat kat troli mydin yg bersepah kat asrama pelajar YU-ES-EM-KAY-KAY.

current feelings... (1)

1. aku selalu percaya kalo aku wat something yang tak elok, mesti aku dpt balasan secepat-cepatnye.

da byk aku buat experiment. n sume nye terbukti .

contohnya, mase presentation baru2 ni. boleh plak bagi teori terbalik sedangkan lam kepala otak da pikir betul2 punye. kan da kene ngan lecturer 'so , what your friend said earlier is completely WRONG!' >>> aku terkulat2 memandang dorang .. yg misterinye, group member sume kata aku btol, tapi audience lain kata aku salah ckp. oh hidup.

lepas ni sampai mati aku ingat teori hi and lo kV.

ape yg aku wat sampai dibalas balik dengan kesilapan masa presentation, biarlah aku je tau. ahaha.

2. hmm, aku rasa da rimas sangat da ngan rambut ni.. ingat weekend ni nak p salon atau barber shop, tapi tatau nk ajak sape.. aish, seriously, makin tua2 ni makin kurang kawan2 je aku ni. pathetic jugak la rase kadang2.. tapi, kalo ade kawan berkepit 12 jam sehari pun aku tak minat jugak.. mane nak cari kawan yg sama taste ye.? ebay ade tak?

3. lepas tu tengah dlm dilema nak balik umah ke tak weekend ni. start minggu ni la kurang beban skit, CA byk da lepas, assessment pun dah, yg tinggal seminar, n OSPE. n dinner. n CA 2. eh banyak la pulakkkkk.. ape2 pun, macam nak balik, tapi cuti semeta sangat laa. tak puas, nanti aku sedih plak naik bus nak balik sini.. wat drama winter sonata lam bus sorang2. aish.

4. em, aku rase bahagia bcos kafe nurani da kembali bernyawa kot. kak intan n kak 'ala lupe plak name kak yg jual air buah tu' da back to berniaga da.. BYE2 ABG JAMAL.

5. 'Make 70 excuses for a muslim brother or sister before thinking bad of them in any situation'

cr: IslamicThinking @ twitter

buat aku terfikir, aku slalu je cepat being judgemental kat org2, nak2 org yg aku kurang gemar. mulai skarang nak try apply mende ni la.. :)

6. aku kena betulkan balik jam tidur aku.. lingkaran gelap bawah mata semakin menjadi2.. n kulit pun kusam.

tak elok tido lewat.

so, goodbye and goodnight.

ASSALAMUALAIKUM.

mac satu

hari bertukar hari.

sekejap je rase.

tak lame lagi nak exam besar lagi. ospe lagi. seminar lg.

bertimbun2 perkara pelajar.

sometimes rase cam nak lari masuk utan jap, duk dlm semalaman, tgk ade org kisah tak aku ilang kejap.

rasenye tak kot.

zaman skarang ni org cam tak ambil pusing keadaan sekeliling. aku pun termasuk la.

aku aku, ko ko. mentaliti tu payah nak dibuang.

macamane ye..

contohnya, ade classmate aku leh lupe nk dtg clinical ari ahd aritu sbabnye alasannye dia kata dia ingat aritu ari sabtu=CUTI.

ok.

aku pon terpikir, takkan la kat lappy dia takde tarikh kat tepi tu?

bukak fb takkan la tak tgk tarikh..

takkan tak bace newspaper online?

kat henset pon takkan tak prasan?

hmm.

takkan la dia tak kua bilik?

kan ke lain kalo suasana ari kuliah ngan hari cuti.

so, kesimpulannya, Wallahuallam.

tapi yang aku cube nak tulis ialah, hidup terasing ni tak bawak byk kebaikan ye.

bwk2 la tanye org sekeliling ni.

nak jadi pemimpin tak semestinye satu skop je.

classmate ko, group member ko, bwk2 la tanye khabar ke.. tanye arini camne klinikal.. cme camne..ape ygleh aku wat?

ni ape habuk pon tak amek kisah..

ko sibuk duk post kat fb pasal aktiviti tu aktiviti ni..

aktiviti presentation class camne?

ca pon tak dtg..

camne tu?

terasing tak sama ngan low profile ok.

aku suke lo profile tapi tak la sampai asingkan diri.

ape2 yg aku boleh n nak join je.

n tanggungjwb sbg student tu at least aku cube la wat..

aku tulis kat sini bukannye ape, agak dah fed up la.

aku try wat baek, tanye khabar, bgtau ape2 patot, bg pnjam logbook..

ingatkan ko nk berubah sket, tapi stakat 28 feb ni. takde pon.

tatau la kot tunggu bulan mac ni ke.

we'll see.

ape yg penting, harap2 pasni, dia ingat la ari ahad takkan boleh jadi hari sabtu.

tido nikmat terunggul.

assalamualaikum.

harini overslept lagi.

tatau apesal ngantok wat terokk plak.

dlm klas petang mmg melayang. tak tau amende mdm membebel kat depan.

last2 aku amek earphone, sumbat 2 belah tinger, layan lagu..syok kot.

pastu abes je klas, laju2 jalan rempuh sume org balik bilik, basuh kaki, salin baju.

then baring slow2 ala sleeping beauty then KROHHHH...

sedar2 jam henset menunjukkan 19:32 . oh ok.

naseb baek la in period, kalo tak konfem terlepas asar dah..

apela nak jadi ngan kamu.

insaflaa..

i wish you enough

Taken from Paulo Coelho's blog.
very beautiful and inspiring.


Recently I overheard a father and daughter in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced the departure.
Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the father said, ‘I love you, and I wish you enough.’

They kissed and the daughter left. The father walked over to the window where I was seated. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but I could not refrain from asking:
‘When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, ‘I wish you enough.’ May I ask what that means?’

He began to smile. ‘That’s a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone.’
He paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail, and he smiled even more.
‘When we said, ‘I wish you enough,’ we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them.’
Then turning toward me, he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory


I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more..

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.

I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting…
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good- bye.

so starting tomorrow, I'll greet people with the exact same words. can i?

ANNYONG!!

okay

so I've been busy watching and rewatching this drama series for a while and that's the reason of no posts for a while now. haha. like anyone cares.

expect to see,

secret garden a review by me .

oh my latest OTP, how I love thee. HB <3 HJW.

malas nak bagi title..

well well, tgk date kat bawah lappy baru pasan arini last day January.

betapa masa pantass berlalu..

nanti bulan 2 dah,pastu tiga,empat lima enam tujuh lapan..

pastu sembilan masuk final year dah..adui dui dui~

betapa cepatt masa berlari..

anyway, 2-3 4 ari mendatang bakal bz ngan aktiviti jln2 makan2 cakap2 snap2 ..

ade kenduri perkahwinan sepupu ye..

oh penatnye.

da la assignment tak buat lagi.

oh complicated sungguh.

oh. bunyi ape tu?

erk?

ok, anak sedare berdengkur.

maknenye da lewat. time to sleep ana.

bukan ana semasa kecil.

stranger?

I maybe awkward to people I'm not close with. but that doesn't mean that I hate you. never.

we don't have something in common, the chemistry between us doesn't spark.

still, I'm willing to exchange a nod and a put a little curve on my lips, so why don't you do the same? acknowledge me, and I'll be forever grateful and contented..

we're only human. and we breath in the same air.

kecewa

kenapa mereka selalu merasakan perlunya membandingkan setiap orang?

'kumpulan tu bagus tak, kak? mana lagi bagus? kami ke dorang?'

'oh,kamu nak dengar yang baik ke yang buruk? haha, kumpulan kamu la lagi bagus'

I really reject that kind of comparison that says, Oh, he is the best. This is the second best. There is no such thing.
-Mikhail Baryshnikov-

I tried

To understand the situation by putting the shoes that was once hers,

To see the world according to her by putting the glasses that was once hers,

To donned myself with the dress that was once hers,

To write with pen that was once hers,

To cook the egg with the pan that was once hers,

To sing the lullaby just like her singing voice,

To laugh as quirky as hers,

To talk passionately like her,

To cry silently like her,

I tried everything,

But I could never take away the pain of losing him from her.

I missed you. so much.

sakit

bila sakit otomatik akan teringat rumah.

ingat ma kat umah.

pagi tadi aku bangun nak solat Subuh tetibe je rase pusing2..

pastu afta solat, rase nak muntah..

berlari2 anak ke toilet ntok meluahkan ape yg patot.

masuk bilik, baring, letak bam pala then telan painkiller,

tdooo...

at last, tak p clinical n class research..

petang p klas ..

balik tu tdo lagi..

rase penat n tak sedap badan.

uhuk. nak rumah. nak ma.

first CMA

CMA= continous medical assessment

so hari ni, Jan 19th is the first presentation of case study after 2 weeks clinical attachment at fluoroscopy and ivu department. agak nervous because da lame tak cakap depan orang ramai..

nak2 ckp depan lecturer n staffs..

basically, my group was up as the first presenter.(we volunteered) in my hunble opinion I think we did well. Alhamdulillah.. tak sia2 penat lelah jalan kaki ke murni nurani ulang alik ntok discussion..

but I think we have to feel grateful to have en. Zaky as our SV as he is one of the skillfull radiographer in HUSM.. it's like he knows everything.. from one glance, he could see whether the image produced is in good radiographic quality or not. the ethical of diagnosis.. inside and outside he knows everyhting.. truly respect him.

and he has been very helpful to us as he helped us to review our presentation slides.

but what made me feel super happy was he complimented us. 'well done and I'm impressed with your work, sekali cakap kamu dah faham nak buat ape' his words were like spirit booster to me to work harder and to share our knowledge that we gathered during our posting at his department. and what made me feel super duper happy was during the afternoon class, our programme co-ordinator also complimented our presentation. thank you Mdm Chen!

so I truly hope that me n my groupmates will continue our momentum from here onwards and give our best in every CMA's.. Insya Allah.

I'm feeling contented. :)

so the next CMA will b after CNY holiday. we'll see what'll happen.

err...

3 pm- I missed you Abah. so much

3.15 pm- I know you can't be my 'good' FRIEND when you started to complain about my appearances and the way I styled myself.

3.20 pm- how I wish I could sleep like him. as much as I'm a sleepyhead, I still can't sleep in the class during lecture.

3.30 pm- I missed home.

3.35 pm- why I feel like I have no spare time lately. the constraint of learning process.

3.39 pm- Jokes are half meant. when you keep joking of how I was never a thin girl and I always look fat to you, I truly understand it. so stop.

3.40 pm- It's tricky when you listens to the lecture at the peak of the afternoon as you starts to daydreaming and losing your mind to somewhere else. like right now

3.45 pm- I'm a major spelling freak so it bugs me big time when people keeps on mis-spelling without trying to learn the proper spelling.

I jotted down this while sitting in the class at 3 pm today.

now I believe shit happens in life. my supposedly Thursdays CME have been advanced to this Wednesday. *head desk* ( buh-bye my precious sleeping time)

in a more positive view,my fictional story (not like the other girl) that I wrote for Gogumafics won Best Heartbreak Story(oneshot category)!!! I'm a happy young woman!

never thought my story would be getting much love. :)))))

for the first timer like me to saw my names being put up on the lists along with other established writers made me fly like a G6.(ok, lame).

and the more super better happy news spazzing to the max is the winning story will be translated to Korean language and send to S.Korea for the collaboration project. my STORY!! haha.

and plus my author's note will also b included too~ awesome to the max.

now imagining the lovely image of Yonghwa and Seohyun sitting on the yellow couch reading my story.

*cloud nine mode*

since I'm a self-proclaimed bipolar, now I'm down to the core ground as I SUDDENLY remembered my assignments, reports and presentation that needs to b done.

tak boleh kah mereka semua self service saje. ??

*dush dush*

2nd day of '11

feels like the longest time since I posted in my blog.

since today is holiday (YIPPEEE!!) so saya rasa nak wat entry panjang dan nk letak pictures, boleh? boleh? and this is random posts okay..HAHA

SO, here we go..

1. the first lesson that I learned this semester besides the clinical demo.

MAMMOGRAPHY.

nota mammo yg tersadai di atas tilam.

agak menarik walaupun terpaksa tegakkan kepala selama 3 jam d waktu petang yang sejuk..da la slides mak aih! bukan powerpoint dah tapi word point tu wahai lecturer ku sayang..

antara point2 penting dlam pelajaran tu ialah;

kawasan berisiko tinggi ntuk dpt kanser payudara ialah kawasan belah atas yg bhg luar..50 % ye..

kalau ade rase lumps tu jgn risau, wat check up dulu bcos tak semestinya malignant..kalo benign takpe..

mammo begins at 70's lagi..

Siemens yg first wat Mo tube then GE follows..

and there's male mammogram.

2. haha! yg ni kelakar.. one of my friend gave me this one BIG RINGS!! it's pretty but too big for me.. anyway, thank you so much!! tapi kena fikir nk pakai mcm mane ye.. maybe guna kat tudung je la kot.. kalau kecik sikit da ok. :( sayang sebab design dya BLACK STAR!

cincin yg berada di atas lappy

3. and and hari ni tak makan nasik langsung bcos malas nk p kafe.. n bukak2 je mata tadi pon da pukul 2.30 PETANG! (okay, sungguh tak elok amalan ini)..so malam2 yang sejuk begini mula la lapar n pegi pantri nak amek apple lam fridge pastu nmpak ade org jual blueberry cheese tart n fruit cheese tart.. so aku mmg suka pastry2, cakes, etc pon ngan senang ati p beli.. rm 1.50 satu..

aku beli yg fruit tart tu.. ok la rase dya..not bad..nanti nk beli yg blueberry plak..

kan bagus pantry ade jual mende2 camni.. sesuai ntok org2 mcm aku yg malas nk kua.. nak makanan dtg terbang dgn sendiri..harap pasni makin byk ye brngan jualan..

fruit cheese tart sebelum dimakan

4. this is my latest addiction.

Cadbury Bournville Dark Chocolate berlatarbelakangkan awan (ke?).

ouh! nikmat. aku biase beli yg kosong ngan yg ade almond. misti restock, kire keperluan yg perlu ade dlm drawer meja.. harga tak mahal..rm 5.90 je.. kalau stress atau rase nk berada di awang awangan boleh la rase.. tak yah isap 'salvia bong' macam cik Miley Cyrus okay. cukup mkn dark choc je.. lagipun dark choc byk benefits nye.. natural antioxidant, tak menggemukkan, can lower your BP (must ask mum to eat it), can lower your LDL Cholesterol(the BAD cholesterol) by 10 percent (have to persuade my sister to love Choc as well), and it also can stimulates endorphin yg leh wat kita rase tenang saje..

tips nak mkn dark chocolate + getting all the benefits;

1. jgn la makan satu pek chocolate tu dlm sehari.. memang la boleh gemuk kalo wat gtu..makan sikit2 je.. dlm 1/3 dari satu bar pon okay..

2. taste the chocolate! baru dpt rase ke-rich-an chocolate tu.. jgn la sumbat je dlm mulut tu.. take your time okay.

3. pilih DARK choc.. dya ada more antioxidant than white or milk chocs.

4. JANGAN minum susu after makan chocs. ade kajian kata minum susu secepat mungkin selepas mkn choc maybe akan menyebabkan antioxidant tak dapat diserap oleh body kita.

itu saje dr saya kali ini sebelum kembali menjadi busy bee kerana esok dan hari seterusnya class from 8-1pm then 2-5pm.. MENARIK!!

Getting an education really is an annoying diversion :(((

and tadi ma call.. huhu.. rindu tetibe.. dapat cakap ngan farish debab tu sekejap .. haha.

BONUS

farish ikhwan tersenyum manesss mengucapkan HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011!! ;)))