back here

so I am here for the sixth semester.
time really flies away...


I left my room key at kerteh.
how stupid. and clumsy me strikes again.
the last time, I left my hp charger..
and I owe my room mate a lot.
have to make it up to her..

and for the consequences of me getting lazy not packing up stuff in the room+not returning the key,
TADA!
a pink letter from the office.
tuntutan dikenakan: RM81.00

and one more thing.
why the hell they didnt upload the academic schedule for us?
why did they posted it at the academic office when the semester starts tomorrow?
who'll be going to the office when most of us just reached here today? *sigh*

on the side note: I LOVE Rihanna's Loud album. currently looping it.

and btw, currently Malaysia is playing against Indonesia for the first leg of final of AFF Suzuki Cup. the current score is 2-0.

the laser incident lands Malaysia on the 1st spot of twitter's trending list with #malaysiacheatlaser

whatever it is, hope Malaysia stay strong. GO GO Malaysia!

a little thoughts

feels like just yesterday people wishing me my 22nd birthday yet tonight is the Christmas eve.
time flies like nobody's business..
for people like me who leads nocturnal life, my night is my hot times.
to eat.
catching up with the Tv programmes.
online.
and if ideas struck in, I just spend my night away in front of the lappy and typing away.
writing has now becomes addiction for me.
it's not like my writing is that damn good but somehow it gives satisfaction to me.
and when my little stories made people grin, let them de stress, made them teared a little bit, I feel contented. like I've save a kitten from being hit by a car.
I never imagined myself as an online writer.. but my friends at live journal are so kind and so encouraging that somehow they made me feel like I'm a Stephen King.
talking about Stephen King, I think I've never touch a book for the longest time in my life.
I need to hit the book stores. somehow I've lost the sensation of getting lost in my own imagination by reading books.
so I've to buy some books soon. this time I want to buy at least a non-fictional books.maybe autobiography. I've been meaning to find the Emilie Autumn's autobiography The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls (she's amazing)but never found it anywhere.
and review the books too.
I need to put myself of a little use and my blog is the best place for it..

oh and by the way, the results came out today.
It's getting better but not the best from me.
so my resolution for this upcoming semester is to write short notes of what I've learn little by little because for me that's the most effective way. that I figured after trying my hands with many methods of studying. I cannot be a last minute student anymore. you can if you're studying for SPM or even matriculation level. but not when you've to study about photon beams, kerma, how MRI works etc.
trust me. I've tried it.

I need to get good results.I don't want my mother to feel ashamed of me on the graduation day later. I want her to be proud of me. that's the least I can do.
so, I hope I'm able to do this. InsyaAllah.

and that's the point of jotting down this today, as a reminder for me when I lost track in the future because I know I am not a focused person.

LJ

meme-ing my LJ account in my blogspot.
pathetic?
so be it.
mostly I dump fictional stories there.
together with drabbles..

etc.


words by words

if have time can go there.

Her favorite boy

I watched them from a far.
She puts her head on his shoulder. And she hugs him like he is her most favorite boy in the world.

I used to hug her like that. We used to be like that. The world used to be ours.

And now she appears in front of me, randomly. Like a magic. I am still captivated by her blinding lights.

You’re taking my head over again. Unfolding each memory.

What’s the matter now?
She said, ‘Nothing, I just want to see how you’ve been doing.’

An empty laugh escapes my cracked lips.

I would say,

I am wretched,
And she is one blissful girl.

I am bleeding inside, unconsciously,
And the bandage is lost with her.

I am lost in winters,
And she found the four seasons with him.

I am awake every night,
And she lost in her dreams beside him.


answers to his favorite girl

lost and heal

To lose someone so dear in your life is not an easy feat.

You can always dream that you'll be with them forever,

But forever is overrated.

You can always tell yourself to move on,

But moving on is never an easy act.

You can always pushed back the memories far behind,

But it will always lie there, waiting.

You can always pretend,

But at one time you lose your majestic mask,

You can always walk forward,

But life has its own intersection and loops.

You can always sleep away with the pains,

But in the morning you found your pillows wet with tears.

To heal you is to grieve and accept the losing and live with it.

21

it is finally December 1st. my birthday.

and I'm crying at the sudden realization.

I now finally understands the significant behind the cake that my father bought for me last year. It's not like he never bought me any cake but after I turned 13 years old, it was always either my sisters or my mother were the one to bought the cake.

I remember the surprise look my mother gave me when he brought back the chocolate cake with big 21 written on it. I am very happy that day. really happy.

and tonight, I'm by myself and will never ever receive his birthday greetings anymore. his moga panjang umur and dimurahkan rezeki wishes. the simple words that always never missing in my inbox when December 1st comes by.

thank you abah for the last cake you bought for me, your daughter. at 21 I lost you. at 22 I'm celebrating the day I was born without you. I missed you so bad.

to heal..

Okay, now I discover that I have to calm myself.
to think that my life is miserable is over rated when you compared it to more profound problems that the world is facing currently.
so I have to be grateful and learn to cope with whatever miserable-ness I felt.

my method to overcome this is:

I read Adam Young's blog today AND he write such awesome insights. *hangs head in shame*
He wrote what he felt with utmost sincerity that it strikes your heart at the right place.
No wonder he made awesome songs.

I listen to a song by Kate Havnevik, Think Again where the music is arranged by Adam Young himself. It's a beautiful song and her voice is .. just listen to it yourself

I wrote a couple of drabbles in my LJ.

I watched latest episode of Yongseo. they are beyond adorable.

I take bath in the cold nights and it's refreshing.

go to sleep with empty minds and wake up in the morning with a resolution to be a better person.



I wonder how I can be hopeful and miserable in a span of 15 minutes. am I bipolar?

I'm miserable

seriously, these days I'm feeling worst.

and to add to that, I've practical this coming two weeks and I'm all stuck at here.

all alone in this room.

it's raining heavily,continously from this morning until now.

I'm feeling restless

now and then the thought keep invading my minds.

the pain I felt on that day keep coming back..

I don't know what to do..

just wished that everything gonna end soon enough.

RANDOM

His favourite girl.

I see her in his arms. He cuddling to her like she is his precious little girl.

He used to be mine. I used to cuddles to him just like the way he cuddles her.

Though I still couldn’t understand why I couldn’t hate him. Why I left the space in my room for his stuff? Why I decorate my house with things that he love.

And now he decided to come to see me. Out of the blue he appeared again.

What’s the plan now? You said just to see how am I doing these days. ..

I would say,

I am all black and white inside,

And he is full of seven colors of rainbow,

I am monotonous up and down,

And he is merrily from left and right,

I am so lost now,

And he found his own light house.

I am so empty without him,

And he is so contented without me.

Inspired by Decorate from Yuna

Review: Decorate by Yuna

The tracklist:

1. Gadis Semasa
2. These Streets
3. Penakut
4. Fireworks
5. Rocket
6. Random Awesome
7. Permission
8. Cinta Sempurna
9. Decorate
10. Super Something (Bonus Track)
11. Dan Sebenarnya “acoustic” (Bonus Track)

Yuna's voice is always soothing and I find that in some of the songs her voice comes out hauntingly beautiful. Just like how Sharon sounded like in Memories, how Kate Havnevik sounded like in Sleepless, how Amy Lee sounded like in October.

My favourite would be Permission, Decorate and Penakut.

Permission is ultimately suitable for your listening when you're driving, strolling the sidewalks, with a little thinking to be done.

Decorate is LOVE but way too short. Seriously, Yuna left me craving for more. and the MV is just simple but with deep meaning behind it.

Penakut summarizes my feelings when I'm at the bottom of the rotating wheels of life. My exact feelings when it comes to the thing called LOVE?

as for the bonus track, Super Something and Dan Sebenarnya. Its okay , I guess.

I have love and hate relationship with Dan Sebenarnya.. I never like the song as it sounded too mainstream and too cheesy for me.But ironically, that's the song that brought recognisation for Yuna. and I have a soft spot for anything acoustic so Dan Sebenarnya acoustic version just underwhelmed my dislike for the song.

With that said, her first album is very GOOD. and hope to listens more from her.

You can buy Decorate by Yuna here.

Drabbles, just for killing time.

She is...

like a magnet. She pulls him to her carelessly, effortlessly.

his muse. He always found himself thinking and pondering about her every night.

enchanting. The first day he met her he was enchanted by her pretty, clear eyes.

his cotton candy. Her natural smell that is.

a melody. Her laughs prove it all.

contagious. Her smile is.

captivating. When she flips her beautiful, long hair.

a flower. She blooms beautifully day after day.

a star. His star, shining by its own light.

addictive. Like his own personal brand of heroine.

a child. Her excited eyes tell it all. Her innocence too.

a storyteller. When she tells her story of life to him.

a brand. He is the trade marker.

a heartbreaker. When she smiles to her fan boys in front of him.

sinful. When she struts her things on the stage for other people to see.

an enigma. She is the most complicated puzzle pieces he ever encountered.



a president. Of his heart that is.

This is heavily inspired by Yonghwa and Seohyun in WGM. ;)

adab dan hormat

okay.

story time.

since 2 paper checked, so time to breathe easily again.

review: 1st paper- ok kot

2nd paper: tak ok sgt. tak ckp preparatn.

berbalik pd tajuk entry kali ni,

mengikut wikipedia, adab bermaksud konteks perilaku, perbuatan: kebaikan, kesantunan, moral, sopan santun, kesusilaan, kemanusiaan.

aku pon bkan la penuh beradab tapi...big TAPI kat sini ye.

(entry ni khas ntok sape2 yg bakal jadi rumet aku dan juga sedang mnjadi rumet ye)

1.kalau rumet aku tgh tido, aku kua blik try tutup pintu pelan2..

BUKAN lepas je pintu tu camtu. BEDEBAMMMM!

2. aku ckp phone kat lua tau even ckp ngan mak atau ank sedare..

tapi kamu leh je selambe diri ckp ngan pakwe merengek2 dgn volume tahap 5.

(aku bkan jelez tapi imagine kalo aku tgh stadi, ok aku bkan la slalu stadi .tu takpe lg tp bayangkn aku tgh smayang pon bleh je bermanja ngan tepon. ) RESPEK ok.

3. nk masak lam blek boleh, tapi kalo msk benda berbau mcm keropok ikan tu kan, agak2 la ye.

abes pakaian sy berbau. da la skang musim ujan, nk bsh bj susah ye. bj br pkai skali tetibe ade bau lain plak. ANGIN ...

4. kalo membe dtg blek kan, aku no hal tapi kalo aku tgh tdo atau stadi, pliz la jgn borak jerit2. .

membe ko kat seblah je pon, bkan nye dya kat padang ko kat bilik..

5.ko nk bgn awal bleh, nk bkak lampu terang2 pon leh, nk bkak lappy pon takpe tapi tolong la kalo nk dgr lagu ke ape ke pliz la gune earfon maupon headphone. murah je kot. 2-3 rm da dpt.. aku tak ingin nk dgr lagu2 BEIBER tu ok. maupon lagu2 yg da oudated. ok sedikit KEJAM di ditu.

kesimpulannya, aku walaupon bkan la manusia tersopan kat muka bumi ni tapi bab2 simple camni aku try jaga. biar la aku tak suke cmne pon kat sape2 tapi ble da jadi rumet automatik RESPEK tu ade ye.

takkan la sume aku nk kne ckp face 2 face.. kang tak bertegur sapa susah plak ye.

common sense je sume ni.. tak payah bkak buku forensik sains ke cari kat google ke.

sekian.

exam OOO exam

It does not matter how slow you go so long as you do not stop

-Confucius-

*phew*

tinggal lagi 4 hari 1st paper ntok musim periksa kali ni..

paper nuclear med.

tapiii...

notes tak abis2 lagi.

baca 2-3 page, then stop jap..

#chorus#

bkak soompi..renung twitter..bkak YT..tgk WGM..makan..toilet..daydreaming.. = 2 JAM

tgk nota balik..

then ulang balik #chorus#

MACAMANE la nak abis nota..

da la aku ni slow..nak paham satu-satu slide pun mau bocor CSF..

da la dabel dose kot paper..

7- nuc med

8-diagnostic

2-2 paper kat atas killer subject..nota mcm kitab kuning ..

pastu ade lagi dabel dos next week nye..jadual sket punye chantekk!

15-rad protectn

16-arab

17-19= RAYA haji

22-phy hum body

25-dosi >>>>>super killer subject!

28.11-9.12 = pre klinikal..

maknenye birthday aku kat sini..

*sigh*

life as a STUDENT.

ntok kawan2.. selamat menempuhi exam ngan jayanya..

do the BEST!

My Father's Daughter.

It is impossible for me now to ever forget what this day means to me.

The day he was born.

The day the man who was fated to be the man i called abah.

He was always there for me in both body and spirit, showing me by his living example what it was like to be a father and a husband, that it was possible for a man to show tenderness, to be unafraid of open affection with his children, and to be a loving husband. He was selfless with us all.

It is impossible to speak of my father without also speaking of my mother, because they were one. Together, they showed me what true love was like, taught me what a marriage should be. A part of my mother is him. And for my mother to have this kind of strength now after her better half has gone, I have no words to describe it.

I never doubted that he loved me. Though he never say it out loud. We always hugged. When I am small, when he had to leave for work or went to the other home, he always kissed me on my forehead. When I had my exam results, he was always ready with his bear hugs and kiss on my forehead. Now I wonder, who would be able to give me the same love?

That is the greatest gift that a father can give to his daughter.

I will always love you and I will always miss you.

Al-fatihah....

Abah; October 15th, 1947- August 07th, 2010

note: dlm minggu ni ada few times aku mimpi arwah abah.. tapi ustaz kata kalau kita mimpi orang dlm mimpi tu berckp ngan kta tu maknanye syaitan yg menyamar tapi kalo orang yg kita mimpi tu diam je itu mungkin la benar..

Wallahualam.

kesimpulannya, kalo mimpi ke teringat ke baik la sedekahkan bacaan al-quran, solat sunat etc.

Ada tiga perkara yang ditinggalkan di dunia, maka simati tetap mendapat pahala.

1) Derma kebajikan (seperti derma membuat surau, sekolah pndok, pusat tahfiz, etc)

2) Ilmu yang memberi manfaat

3) Anak yang soleh.

kawan?

kawan..

semenjak 2 menjak ni aku rasa mcm dah hilang kawan dah..

kat tadika an-nur start la aku tau ape makna kawan ni.

duk makan mi goreng ngan kawan2..

main kat playground ngan kawan tadika..seronok.

pastu masa sek rendah, hidup dikelilingi ramai sgt kawan.

sekolah rendah ade 2..satu kat kerteh, satu kat subang..

zaman sekolah rendah aku paling best sbab paling cemerlang kot.haha.

dajah 2 aku slalu no 2 ,blakang besfren aku..skali je aku dpt pintas dia..

farihah name dya..hm, misti skang da jadi insan berjaya dah..rindu plak rase..

mase dajah 4 plak aku slalu dpt no 1..sepanjang taun.

pastu dajah lima aku naik kelas..kelas no 1.. 5mutiara

dajah 6 pon mutiara gak..mase ni kwn ngan dak2 terer r..

tak dpt la no 1 dah.. tapi oke laa..top10 gak laa.

pastu zaman skola menengah..dpt offer mrsm jeli.tak pegi.

dpt gak interview kolej yayasan saad tapi tak pergi dek kerana hasutan member aku..

dya kata skola tu sosial gle..haha.. aku pon percaye..keke

tapi masa sek menengah ni mmg lagi best. ade geng sendiri..

pegi skolah bkan nk blaja sgt pon tapi nak jumpe membe.

nak gosip.haha. ingat lagi time Meteor Garden tgh tayang kat tivi.

sikit punye excited nak dtg skolah esoknya nk share cte..spazzing as what we call back then.

pastu cte winter sonata, autumn, succesful story of a bright girl. tak dilupakan rosalinda juge.tingat cikgu geog aku yg sgt menggemari cte tu smp kami dbenarkan balik awl mase finale.haha

cte pasal linkin park la..rase sgt cool time tu.. cte psal b-boy la, skateboarding la.. mase tu takde lg shuffle2 nie..

main nyorok2 ngan dak laki..cam bingung je.main basketball time break.

kdg2 stayback sbab nk maen...pastu lg satu..mase f3 bwk henpon g skola..

bangga gle bcos aku antara pioneer..haha.time kaseh abah.

ni masa sek rantau laa..

pastu start f4 aku wat prangai sket, slalu tak dtg skola..tah ape masalah ntah.masalh jiwa..

pastu markah math mod aku teruk. ngat lagik cikgu math tu compare markah aku ngan budak kelas ranking ke-3.. sedih gak r..tapi wat2 takde efek..

pastu tak lame tu dpt tawaran p boarding school.mrsm. kat besut.

aku pon pikir, mayb ni Allah nk bg pluang suh berubah kot.

aku pon pegi laa..mase tu dah tengah taun gak kot..

life kat mrsm ni okay sebenarnye..

aku menyesal gak la sebenarnye sbab tak gune pluang ni seelok2 nye.

hanyut gile.

kwn2 aku majoriti p oversea after spm..

kalo tak pon dpt msk uni yg gempak..

segelintir golongan cam aku je tercampak matrix 2 taun.

aku tak kate matrix 2 taun tak bagos.. cume kalo tgk pluang yg aku dpt tu mmg aku da sia2kan sgt laa.. the biggest regret gak laaaa.

tapi kat mrsm ni la aku jumpa kwn aku yg terbaik la..

smp skang stil contact lg..

tapi skang ni cm kurang sket, mayb bz kot...(you know who you're)

berbalik kpd tujuan asal..aku nk ckp pasal problem aku bile berkawan sebenrnye..

aku rasa aku ni tak setia la..suka larikan diri n cpt bosan..

aku ada 4 kes yg aku kwn ngan kwn aku ni memang rapat tahap gile gaban pastu dlm beberapa bln pastu aku misti wat masalh....

kes 1: aku tulis surat kat membe aku ckp aku tanak rapat ngan dya dah.aku rimas. sbab dya ni jenis suke menepek.. (ni mase darjah 5)

kes 2: aku tulis surat jugak kat membe aku ckp aku tanak kwn jugak n a few problems lg la.. tapi yg ni plg sedih bcos membe aku ni ckp aku ni kasar n krg ajar. ( ni mase f4)

kes 3: aku ignore member aku ni yg penah tido sebantal, mkn sepinggan ngan aku bcos aku rase ade member dya yg jelez aku rapat gele ngan dya.. membe ni siap bg chocolate kat aku n tanye nape aku jadi camtu ..huuhu.. aku terharu, tapi tak leh nak watpe la kan.. (ni mase f5)

kes 4: aku tatau cmne ktorang leh jadi tak berckp antara satu sama lain. aku tataw ape masalhnye so, aku tulis surat lagi..tanye knape..letak kat kasot dya.. then dya kata aku yg tak layan dya..aku wat bodo kalo dya dtg bilik.. riak muke aku berubah kalo nampak dya..

aku tatau la..maybe aku problem kot.. (ni mase matrix)

kesimpulannya, aku rasa sbab aku byk sakitkan hati membe2 aku, sbab tu la skang ni aku takde kawan .. bile membe ajak kua aku bagi alasan(ni membe mase skola rantau).. sebenarnye to b honest, aku segan ngan dorang..aku rase mcm tak layak je nk kwn ngan dorang lg..

dorang sume cm berjaye gle...aku je mcm ni lagi..

mayb one day, tgk la..aku still sayang lagi kat dorang..kdg2 tgk pic reunion ke ape ke..

terguris jugak la..tapi bkan salah dorang..aku sendri wat pilihan nk asingkan diri.. stupid me.

kadang2 aku jeles kat kak aku yg second bcos dya sgt la setia kalo berkwn..mmg respek laa.. kat abg aku pon.kak aku yg sulung pon..

nta la..

aku ni mmg problematique kot..

hm..

sbab tu la aku selesa sorang2 je kot..

tapi walaumacamanepon, aku tetap hargai sume kwn2 aku..

dari tadika smp la kat uni nie...

walau tak nampak tapi dlm hati ni ade la tpt korang..

hati aku byk lagi ruang..jgn risau..

mayb one day i'll find my own greatest FRIEND.

mayb he/she stuck in the traffic jam,

mayb he/she LOST his'her way,

he/she just a lil bit LATE to find me..

I'm waiting with arms wide open.

phew~~ longest post ever since i own a weblog..

Wonderful..yes I AM

WONDERFUL by Gary Go

The person that you were has died

You’ve lost the sparkle in your eyes

You fell for life - into its traps

Now you wanna bridge the gaps

Now you wanna bridge the gaps

Now you want that person back

And all your ammunition’s gone

Run out of fuel to carry on

You don’t know what you wanna do

Cause what you want does not want you

If what you want does not want you

And you’ve got no pull to pull you through

Say “I am”

Say “I am”

Say “I am wonderful"

Say “I am”

Say “I am”

Say “I am wonderful"

If what you’ve lost cannot be found

And the weight of the world weighs you down

No longer with the will to fly

You stop to let it pass you by

Don’t stop to let it pass you by

You’ve gotta look yourself in the eye

Say “I am”

Say “I am”

Say “I am wonderful”

Oh you are

Say “I am”

Say “I am”

Say “I am wonderful”

Cause we are all miracles

wrapped up in chemicals

We are incredible

Don’t take it for granted, no

We are all miracles

Oh we are

Say “I am”

Say “I am”

Say “I am wonderful”

Oh you are

Don’t take it for granted, no

We are all miracles

wrapped up, yeah we’re wrapped up

Oh we are wonderful

Haru

Haru~ One Day....

Teaser

If I get One Day like this..

Korean Tourism Productions are releasing a short drama "One Day" online (www.haru2010.com).

This omnibus style "Haru : An Unforgettable Day in Korea" cast is U-Know, Big Bang, Han Chae-young,Kim Beom, Park Si-hoo, Lee Da-hae, and many other stars.

Check out the story in this short drama that has all these stars take interesting and exciting characters!

Source : news.nate.com/view/20...

CREDIT

P/s: and the recruits for the OST of the movie IS

Super Junior's Kyuhyun, Ryeowook, Yesung,Donghae and Eunhyuk

SNSD' s Tiffany

SHINEE's Onew

etc.

That's ONE star studded package!

If only Malaysia Tourism could come up with someting NICE like this~~

AKSDJIWQUHEND!!!

WHY o why you're so A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E!

Playlist23092010

1. Trax - Everlasting Story

seriously suitable for fairy tale-y feeling

2. J.ae - LOVE

soothing voice from she who is so underrated!

3. Mad Soul Child- Dear

seriously K-movie always comes out with best OST.

and this is one of it!

4. Trax- Oh! My Goddess

OH! my seoBB~

5. V.O.S - Full Story

another great DUO from korean music

6. Lee Seon Hee- Fox Rain

great OST from My Girlfriend is A Nine Tailed Fox

7. IU - Rain Drop

IU is seriously GOOD when it comes to ballad-ish song.

she could just STOP with bubblegummish song *Marshmallow*

8. 2NE1- Go Away

the BEST from the triple treat.

9. JQ ft Shin Bong Sun - Cotton Candy

this song screams SWEETNESS.

and Bong Sun's voice is SO cute. she is TOO

10. CN Blue - Lie

oh. my. Jonghyun.

your voice is ChoColate!

oopsiiee..just realized that all is Hanguk songs~~

FORGETTABLE is me

'tak pernah nampak pun kamu kat sini?'

'eh, kamu tahun berapa?'

'kamu...student tahun berapa?'

'tak perasan pun kamu sebelum ni...'

'ana ke hana?'

'kenapa tak pernah nampak pun?'

'eh, ada ke budak MR nama ana?'

'yang mana ye ana?'

am I that forgettable?

I wonder. . .

NOT that I want to be OH-so-Popular!

is it my fault to be a Low Profile kind of person.

and does it hurt you guys to acknowledge that this unknown person is Exists despite you guys being oblivious of my presence..

I AM not looking for attention as I have enough already.

I am neither Paris Hilton nor Justin Bieber ( oh Sh1t- I just type in his NAME!!)

i am ME.

SO, just please if you don't know me, please at least R-E-S-P-E-C-T this another human being.

Angel's Disguise by J.ae

Heavenly kiss

Just a taste of your scent

soothes my soul

Fly carry me up and away

far far away

Oh look in my eyes

Suddenly clear the beauty of love

Feel the warmth of my skin

An innocent smile an angel's disguise

Never let show sorrow

There was a time

when I'd dare not dream

That you would be on your way

Time now has come and we near the end

part ways though we must

one simple request I ask

one little wish

Lay down with me now

Lend me your ear

I'll sing you a song of love

so perfect and cruel

Lullaby for an imperfect fool

Never let go sorrow

favourite track from J.ae's Sentimental album..

hauntingly beautiful..

Ajussi

Dear by Mad Soul Child


You've left without a word or a trace
Just smiling at me without any particular interest
I'm all alone, and yet I'm so far away
To the point where I'm irrevocable

Oh you can tell me lie
Oh no please don't tell me lie
Within the warm eyes I can't forget, there was you
Even the cruel eyes fall asleep on top of the warm hand
Even the bad words
You try to erase me with your small lips

I'm all alone, and yet I'm so far away
To the point where I'm irrevocable
Oh no you can tell me lie
Oh no please don't tell me lie
Within the warm eyes I can't forget, there was you

Oh no you can tell me lie
Oh no please don't tell me lie
Within the last memories I couldn't erase, there was you..

cr: musictology.wordpress.com

2o hari RAMADHAN

Alhamdulillah..

sudah 20 Ramadhan ..

bersyukur dapat nikmati Ramadhan lagi..

tinggal lagi 10 hari..

1o malam terakhir..

moga2 dapat berjumpa dengan Lailatul Qadr..

malam yang menjadi rebutan semua Muslimin dan Muslimat.

hmm...

Ramadhan pertama tanpa arwah Abah..

juga Raya Aidilfitri pertama..

kat sini je aku boleh luahkan perasaan.

couldn't find the courage to talk about this with my friends or even my siblings.

it HURTS me so much..

i HATE it when people see me Crying.

i don't like it when people look at me and wondering whether she's okay or NOT.

AKU CUBA sedaya upaya.

to not let other people being affected by my sadness...

esok da nak balik kerteh..

my HOME .. where I can still sense his presence.

kadang2 rasa macam tanak balik.. tapi MA macam mane?

ma je lah tempat aku bermanja sekarang..

She's my comfort.

I made a pledge to take a good care of her while there's still TIME.

BY THE WAY, my deepest gratitude to my coursemate for the donation.

really touched by the kindness..

sampai MATI aku akan kenang..

semoga hidup kamu semua Diberkati ALLAH S.W.T...InsyaALLAH

terima kasih kawan2~~

AT least I know that there's people who CARE about me. .

and for kawan2 yang tak tau, baru tau or akan tau..

I am SO SORRY..

not that I don't treasure you as my friend BUT, it's HARD for me to text or to made phone call to you AND say the word.

it's hard.very

paksi ku hilang

kun fa yakun..

'jadilah, maka jadilah'...

7 ogos 2010.

jam 11.20 pagi..

abah ..pergi buat selama-lamanya..

the day has finally come.

aku selalu berdoa supaya aku pergi dulu supaya aku tak perlu rasa peritnya kehilangan paksi aku..

Abah adalah paksi aku dalam kehidupan..

Dia lah yang selalu di hadapan aku..

Phone call yang diterima tepat jam 11.16 am, aku terdengar perkataan 'Abah dah takda'.

Aku tak percaya.jantung dah macam nak pecah..bumi rasa macam berputar salah arah..

Empangan air mata dah pecah..

Then, ma kata' Akak, patah balik..Abah da takde, abah da takde'..

aku terketar2..sejuk,sakit,perit,pedih..

phone call dengan yu..aku takleh cakap apa2..tak mampu..

perjalanan patah balik ke kerteh..

all memories flashback.

hari jumaat, sehari sebelum pemergian abah,

his smiles,

his kiss on my forehead,

his last money for me,

the last ticket bus he bought for me,

my memories of him taught me in driving cars,

riding motorcycle and falls in the middle of the road,

eats together,

his crying eyes when ma admitted to hospital..

his jokes,

everything..

sudden rush of memories flooded my head.

mata bengkak, basah,sembab. . . .

sepanjang perjalanan . .

5 hrs seems like 50 years.

sampai kat jelawat jam 6.30 pm.

nampak kak yu.

aku terketar2..tak sanggup nak langkah kaki masuk dalam rumah kayu itu tempat terbaringnya abah aku.

tapi, aku kuatkan hati, tabah lah hati..

abah, macam tidur..tenang, setenang-tenang yang pernah aku lihat..

aku menangis lagi.dan lagi..

jam 11.20 malam abah diiringi ke tempat persemadian, perjalanan terakhir abah.

talkin dibacakan..

semasa pengebumian, aku sudah berhenti menangis..aku berfikir mungkin aku sudah redha dan pasrah..

tapi tidak rupanya..

sampai hari ini,

saat ini, saat aku menaip, air mata tak berhenti..

dan aku sedar, sampai bila bila, aku tetap merasakan peritnya kehilangan paksi-ku.

Semoga Abah tenang di sana.. . .

dan semoga kita dapat berjumpa di alam yang abadi kelak..

Al-Fatihah~~~

In loving memory

15101947-07082010

I'm A Guy Like This

DJ Doc's I'm A Guy Like This MV

INSANELY hilarious parody of Lee Hyori, After School and CN Blue..

by a LEGENDARY k-pop acts that is. . .

Jonghyun!!!!

TADAAAAAAA~~

another one i created..haha

my burning Jonghyun~~

first timer~~

i LOVE these pics! SO i decided to give it a try and courtesy of PhotoScape, TADA!!!

hawkeye

last minute grab last nite..

p/s: actually i want the red one by AD but but the price was OTT.. T______T

Cool Rite?

In process of getting one..

Cr: http://grabbs.wordpress.com

Love the Way You Lie

ON REPEAT;

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

I can't tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now there's a steel knife
In my windpipe
I can't breathe
But I still fight
While I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right
It's like I'm in flight
High of a love
Drunk from the hate
It's like I'm huffing paint
And I love it the more that I suffer
I sufficate
And right before im about to drown
She resuscitates me
She fucking hates me
And I love it
Wait
Where you going
I'm leaving you
No you ain't
Come back
We're running right back
Here we go again
It's so insane
Cause when it's going good
It's going great
I'm Superman
With the wind in his bag
She's Lois Lane
But when it's bad
It's awful
I feel so ashamed
I snap
Who's that dude
I don't even know his name
I laid hands on her
I'll never stoop so low again
I guess I don't know my own strength

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

You ever love somebody so much
You can barely breathe
When you're with them
You meet
And neither one of you
Even know what hit 'em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling
Yeah them chills
Used to get 'em
Now you're getting fucking sick
Of looking at 'em
You swore you've never hit 'em
Never do nothing to hurt 'em
Now you're in each other's face
Spewing venom
And these words
When you spit 'em
You push
Pull each other's hair
Scratch, claw, bit 'em
Throw 'em down

Pin 'em
So lost in the moments
When you're in 'em
It's the rage that took over
It controls you both
So they say it's best
To go your separate ways
Guess that they don't know ya
Cause today
That was yesterday
Yesterday is over
It's a different day
Sound like broken records
Playin' over
But you promised her
Next time you'll show restraint
You don't get another chance
Life is no Nintendo game
But you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave
Out the window
Guess that's why they call it window pane

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

Now I know we said things
Did things
That we didn't mean
And we fall back
Into the same patterns
Same routine
But your temper's just as bad
As mine is
You're the same as me
But when it comes to love
You're just as blinded
Baby please come back
It wasn't you
Baby it was me
Maybe our relationship
Isn't as crazy as it seems
Maybe that's what happens
When a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is
I love you too much
To walk away though
Come inside
Pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don't you hear sincerity
In my voice when I talk
Told you this is my fault
Look me in the eyeball
Next time I'm pissed
I'll aim my fist
At the dry wall
Next time
There will be no next time
I apologize
Even though I know it's lies
I'm tired of the games
I just want her back
I know I'm a liar
If she ever tries to fucking leave again
I'mma tie her to the bed
And set the house on fire

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

restoran A.T.I.R.R.A

haha~ rase cam aku wat ad free plak ntok restoran ni..

aku pegi makan ngan kak+abg ipar+adik ipar kak aku.

cam WTF je aku rase g restoran ni.

aku da rase semacam je bile nampak sume sume sume kat restoran tu makhluk lelaki..

skali da duduk perati sekeliling rupe2nye pot dak2 indie wannabe lepak..

tetibe je rase aku +kak aku ni HOT bcos dorang sume pandang semacam..haha

kalo aku jadik dorang pon aku gtu gak kot..apedehal tetibe satu family bahagia ni masok pot kitorang..ok tu takpe lagi.

time nak order..dah laa takde menu..ingat kami ni tau ke ape yg ade..ok..then abg ipar tanye ape yg ade..mamat waiter berkata "sumo ado sini'.

aku pon tak sengaje wat lawak order kuey tiow goreng mamak..aku ingat aku kat juara kot time tu.

takpe laa, aku suh dya buang title mamak tu..

skali duk tunggu2, dtg mamat lain bitaw megi takde.(kak aku oder megi goreng)

tunggu lagi....dtg lg mamat tu ..kuey tiow abes laaa...

aku pon ngan drastiknye berkate takpe laa..kensel laa..manakala adik ipar kak aku tuka kpd nasi goreng pataya..(hmm..mlm tu kami pnye selera same, kami order neslo ais+kuey tiau goreng).

ok.takpe laa,aku minom je laa.. jage perut yg da nk buncit nie..

skali sampai plak 2 pinggan nasi goreng pataya..

ekhh???? WTH??

kot ye pon sy tak ckp klate, takkan tak paham kot yg aku tak order makan ape2..

DAN dgn itu, aku MARK Restoran Atirra, Jln Pekeliling Kota Bharu.

2907

1woke up around 10

2shower time

3breakfast with coffee+bread with butter-grape spread...yummy!

4chit-chatting with mum

5online

6t-shirt ironing

7online again

until 12 that's what i'm doing

p/s: can't wait to see my 2 'cute babies'..haha

my most favourite OST instrumental piece

1. Cinderella's Sister OST - Minor Waltz

2. Sad Movie OST- Bohemian

3. Heart OST- Kehilangan

4. Daisy OST- Track 10

5. Snow Queen OST- Main Theme and Love Theme

i got goosebumps everytime i hear this five. .

ha-ha..out of my boredom, i google my personality based on blood type and here is what i got..

Your personality is..

Blood type B:
The Individualist

Positive qualities:
Creative, Passionate, Strong, Animal loving, Optimistic and Flexible.

Negative qualities:
Wild, Unsociable, Critical, Indecisive, Unpredictable and Unforgiving.

Compatibility:
B is most compatible with blood types B and AB.

Famous people with the same blood type:
Jack Nicholson, Luciano Pavarotti, Tom Selleck, Mia Farrow, Paul McCartney, Leonardo DiCaprio.

i guess it speaks ME..

I AM an individualist. I am Unique..