21

it is finally December 1st. my birthday.

and I'm crying at the sudden realization.

I now finally understands the significant behind the cake that my father bought for me last year. It's not like he never bought me any cake but after I turned 13 years old, it was always either my sisters or my mother were the one to bought the cake.

I remember the surprise look my mother gave me when he brought back the chocolate cake with big 21 written on it. I am very happy that day. really happy.

and tonight, I'm by myself and will never ever receive his birthday greetings anymore. his moga panjang umur and dimurahkan rezeki wishes. the simple words that always never missing in my inbox when December 1st comes by.

thank you abah for the last cake you bought for me, your daughter. at 21 I lost you. at 22 I'm celebrating the day I was born without you. I missed you so bad.